Category Archives: erection problems

Dealing With Sexual Problems

Causes of Male Erection Problems

There are two broad categories of men’s erection problems:  physical (or bodily), and psychological. In the early days of sex therapy, psychological erection failure was thought to be the most common. Indeed, some experts (Masters and Johnson, to be exact) suggested that up to 90% of men who had erection problems were in fact experiencing a psychological form of the problem. And it’s my belief that this is till a major problem for men today. You see, we are faced with many issues and problems that can cause men to feel a weakness in their psychological structure around sex. These are often wrongly held beliefs that lie out of consciousness, and which are therefore hard to identify and remediate. But this may also be why so many therapists turn to the physical issues which can cause erectile failure without looking ta the psychological issues first.

I am thinking of the shadow unconscious here. The energy held in repressed emotional wounds from childhood which lie hidden in the unconscious and which determine so much of our relationship with the future sexual partners we choose. It follows that dealing with – ie healing the emotional issues from the past – can really have an impact on our sexual performance, and pleasure, in our adult lives.

If you want to get a greater understanding of what his means in reality check out this book on the human archetypes and shadow. This book on shadow work is available in the UK as well from this supplier. 

But things are different now! Forty-plus years on from the time when few treatments could deal with physical issues, we know that psychological problems are not the only issue. A huge number of erection problems are caused by bodily problems, that is to say, physical problems that lie in the body.

Naturally, as you may already have realized, any problem that affects the penis will of course have a massive impact on the man who owns it. So how do you separate the causes of erectile dysfunction into emotional or psychological and physical?

If you’re a man who has – even once – experienced the loss of erection during sex, then you will know how worried you were the next time that it might happen again – and how much it affected you. Read more on this here.

Before we start to consider the factors that affect erection problems, it would be helpful to consider the mechanism of erection. That way we can see how the interaction of physical and emotional or psychological factors may cause a man to suffer a loss of erection.

The penis’s erectile tissue obviously has to fill with blood, and any problem that affects this mechanism – and the penis’s ability to fill with blood – will affect a man’s erection capacity. It follows that any problem with arterial blood flow can affect a man’s erection, as can any problem with the mechanism which blocks the veins that drain blood away from the penis.

These two mechanisms have to work in conjunction to produce a firm erection. In medical language, the latter is known as failure of the venous occlusive mechanism.

Blood vessel problems

When the small vessels which carry blood to the penis dilate to allow an erection to take place, they expand to something between 10 and 15 times their normal diameter. Any occlusion can cause major problems with the erectile mechanism. Even a small blockage can do this, and it’s not so unusual. Arterial blockages can be caused by cigarette smoking, hypertension, high cholesterol levels and injury to the groin or pelvic area.

Often men who have occlusion in this area will also have problems with blockage of arteries elsewhere in the body. There’s a saying among doctors that the erection problems start two years before the heart attack. But unfortunately the same is true in reverse: heart problems can precede erectile problems.

Blockage of a single artery in the penis can occur because of injury or trauma – this is the most common cause of penile arterial problems in young men.

Arterial problems can also occur in men with diabetes: unfortunately, they can suffer both nerve damage and arterial damage. Plaque buildup on the internal walls of the arteries further reduces their diameter. And men who have high levels of cholesterol have a clear risk of arteriosclerosis which will block the arteries of the penis. The extra lipid builds up in the wall of the artery and eventually causes a significant degree of blockage.

And high blood pressure – due to the arterial stenosis which accompanies the problem, rather than the high blood pressure itself – can be a cause of erectile dysfunction.

Failure of the venous occlusive mechanism

Equally as common as the arterial problems that we mention above, failure of the venous occlusive mechanism can allow blood to drain away during an erection rather than be held in the erectile tissue. This will prevent the build up of pressure necessary for an erection to occur. This can be a problem with young men who have always had erection problems all their lives – some surgeons offer surgery designed to repair the fault.

Another cause of erection problems worth mentioning is Peyronie’s disease, in which non-elastic scar tissue develops along the inside of the erectile chambers of the penis. This can even become calcified and line the tunica albuginea in such a way that the tissue cannot be compressed adequately as the penis erects: this in turn prevents the veins being squeezed shut, thereby allowing the problem of venous leakage to develop.

By contrast, if the trabecular smooth muscle and the vascular spaces of the penis are unable to relax sufficiently, the sinusoidal expansion will not be enough to permit adequate blood into the penis for an erection to develop. This can happen if a man is over-aroused (i.e. emotionally excited) when he has excessive adrenaline in his body. 

Finally, cigarettes cause generalized arterial blockage and may also affects the cavernous smooth muscle so that it cannot dilate. Overall, though, the outcome is the same: the penile veins are not compressed enough to produce the heightened intracavernous arterial pressure which lies behind the erection problem.

Video – causes of erection problems

Erection problems and anxiety

Erection Problems and Anxiety

If you’re having problems getting an erection or keeping an erection, you are probably experiencing a great deal of anxiety around sex. This will not be helped if you feel your arousal level increasing and decreasing as your lovemaking progresses.

Hopefully sensate focus exercises will help you to get in touch with the physical sensations that you experience during sex, so you are more aware of what your body is dong and your state of arousal at any point during your lovemaking.

There is also a series of exercises whose purpose is to reduce your anxiety even further, and in particular, to stop you responding with anxiety to any decrease in your arousal or the loss of your erection. This will break the connection between your anxiety and your erectile dysfunction. Your anxiety causes a large part of your impotence, and this will help break the connection.

At the same time, these exercises will help you to become more sensitive to your level of physical arousal. In short, you will become less sensitive to losing your erection, less anxious about penetration and sexual situations, and more sensitive to the physical sensations which give you pleasure during sex.

The exercises are designed in small steps; please don’t jump ahead. Take it slowly and over time you’ll find that you make big advances in your ability to stay relaxed and keep your erection. (If you take it too fast, you’re likely to be disappointed and experience setbacks in treating your impotence.) If you’d like to read a full version of the article about these exercises, you can see a book which deals with erectile dysfunction here.

And, by the way, if you happen to have both premature ejaculation and erection problems, you have to deal with the erection problem before you tackle the premature ejaculation problem.

 

Anxiety is a part of everyday life; most people experience some degree of anxiety sometime in their lives. Anxiety can be useful – it keeps us alert and provides a means of being ready to cope with stressful events or situations. But men’s sexual anxiety is different – it counteracts the relaxed state needed to enjoy great sex: it affects our performance in bed, often by preventing an erection. And though it’s a massive problem, affecting at least one man in ten, it is hardly ever discussed openly among men, because it is seen as such a shameful thing to have to admit you can’t get an erection. If you have some degree of sexual performance anxiety, you’re probably worried about whether or not you’re going to get an erection, or whether you’ll lose it when you start to have sex.Sexual performance anxiety can strike in all these situations. Why? generally because you’re focusing on your final goal, which is either having an orgasm or enjoying sex by taking your partner to orgasm, rather than on everything else you’re going to be doing with your partner (e.g. being intimate, being sensual, being loving and communicating).If you focus more on your relationship and the sensual experiences that you’re enjoying, instead of the orgasms you might or might not have (and the ones she might or might not have, too!) you’re likely to be much less anxious.

Your success at the following exercises to cure your erection problems depends on your ability to be relaxed and accept what is happening without any anxiety about how you are performing.

If you start watching and thinking and worrying about how you’re doing, you’re going to find pretty quickly that you step out of the relaxed attitude that is needed for you to “stay in the moment”.

You’ll probably get tense and start to monitor your performance, and the more you do that, the more you’ll worry. In that case, it won’t be long before you begin to experience the anxiety which has led to your erection problems in the past, and then it may not be much longer before your erection disappears!

Ask your partner to watch for any signs of developing tension, and if she sees them, have her remind you to use your relaxation techniques to get back into a less self-critical, more self-accepting place, where you just enjoy what is happening without spending time thinking about it.

And remember, it’s not part of the deal that you focus completely on your partner and try to please her! This is not a way to cure impotence. You are working towards equality of enjoyment, between you and her, and as much time should be spent focusing on your needs as on hers.

Do the exercises in the order they are set out here, and DO NOT have intercourse before you are sure you’re ready. While you’re practicing, you can bring your partner to orgasm by means of masturbation or oral sex.

Do the exercises when you feel in the mood for them: the partner exercises three times a week, and the masturbation exercises twice a week.

 

Learning to enjoy your partner’s touch to your penis and testicles – without becoming anxious

Here is the key you need to make this work. Read this carefully and absorb it: an erection may come and go during sex, but it will always come back. This in itself is not erectile dysfunction. If you feel your erection faltering, it is not a problem! It will come back! Just don’t focus on your erection, focus on the sexual experience you are having. Stop worrying about how aroused you are and start enjoying the sex. 

A first step to treating erection problems and impotence

You’re used to masturbating with porn, perhaps, or with fantasies which you create in your mind. This time, however, you’re going to do it differently. You’re going to bring yourself off without any stimulation except your hand. And, while you’re doing it, you’re going to focus on your body and check out what feels good, what doesn’t feel so good, and what you might like to ask your partner to do in the future.

The first thing you need is a quiet time and space where you can relax, without being disturbed or interrupted. Lie naked on your bed in a warm room and begin to explore yourself, with lube if you prefer it, slowly and easily. This is not a test, it’s not a race to get yourself off, and it’s not a challenge or comparison with what’s happened before. All you are doing is learning about the pleasure your body can give you. And, of course, checking out that given time and the right kind of stimulation, you will get aroused and you will get erect.

Try various ways of stimulating yourself, various strokes, various pressures, various movements of your hand on your penis and testicles. At first you may find that it is difficult to get an erection.

If you then find that you’re beginning to fantasize, slow down, relax, reduce your anxiety by breathing deeply, and start stimulating yourself with your hand once again. If you find yourself fantasizing, just tell yourself that you’re there to find out how it feels when you just use your hand, and bring your attention back to what you’re feeling in your body.

You may not be surprised to find that it takes you longer to get aroused than it would without any fantasy. You might even find that your erection is not as full as you’d like; well, that’s to be expected.

Don’t despair, don’t give up, and do repeat the experience twice a week. What you’ll find as time goes by is that you come to enjoy the physical sensations more, and your erection gets harder and more reliable. You may need to repeat this experience a few times before you get a hard and full erection. If you have real trouble, use fantasy to get started and then as you get hard, focus on your physical sensations.

Now, here’s the crucial thing: as you get near to orgasm, stop stimulating yourself and relax until your erection has gone away almost completely. As you wait for it to go down, relax and reduce any anxiety you feel by using the relaxation techniques we described earlier.

When your anxiety is reduced, and you’re relaxed, start masturbating again until your erection has returned. Carry on until you’re near orgasm once again, then stop and relax as before. The third time you do this, continue masturbating until you ejaculate.

The whole point of this treatment for erection problems is that you’ll see that your body will respond again if you lose your erection, that in fact you can get back to a state of full arousal if your erection subsides temporarily during sex.

It may take a while, but if your persist, you should be able to develop the confidence that your erection is actually quite reliable.

But what if, despite your best intentions, you don’t get erect? If you feel that you really are impotent, the first thing to do is to keep trying. The second is to use fantasy: whatever the cause of your problems, whether you are not in touch with your body, or your anxiety is too high, you don’t want to go on for too long without a success!

You can adapt the exercise by using fantasy until you are near orgasm, at which point you should focus once again on your physical sensations.

 Once you have some success in this process and more confidence about your control over your erection, you can begin to relinquish fantasy and rely more on pleasurable physical sensations to get yourself aroused. You will by now have some clear ideas about what touch you like and what turns you on and gives you the greatest physical sensation.